§§ 88–94. The Tutor

§ 88. If a Tutor can be got, that, thinking himself in the Father’s Place, charg’d with his Care, and relishing these Things, will at the Beginning apply himself to put them in Practice, he will afterwards find his Work very easy; and you will, I guess, have your Son in a little Time a greater Proficient in both Learning and Breeding than perhaps you imagine. But let him by no Means beat him at any Time without your Consent and Direction; at least till you have Experience of his Discretion and Temper. But yet, to keep up his Authority with his Pupil, besides concealing that he has not the Power of the Rod, you must be sure to use him with great Respect your self, and cause all your Family to do so too: For you cannot expect your Son should have any Regard for one whom he sees you, or his Mother, or others slight. If you think him worthy of Contempt, you have chosen amiss; and if you shew any Contempt of him, he will hardly escape it from your Son: And whenever that happens, whatever Worth he may have in himself, and Abilities for this Employment, they are all lost to your Child, and can afterwards never be made useful to him.

§ 89. As the Father’s Example must teach the Child Respect for his Tutor, so the Tutor’s Example must lead the Child into those Actions he would have him do. His Practice must by no means cross his Precepts, unless he intend to set him wrong. It will be to no Purpose for the Tutor to talk of the Restraint of the Passions whilst any of his own are let loose; and he will in vain endeavour to reform any Vice or Indecency in his Pupil, which he allows in himself. Ill Patterns are sure to be follow’d more than good Rules; and therefore he must always carefully preserve him from the Influence of ill Precedents, especially the most dangerous of all, the Examples of the Servants; from whose Company he is to be kept, not by Prohibitions, for that will but give him an Itch after it, but by other Ways I have mention’d.

§ 90. In all the whole Business of Education, there is nothing like to be less hearken’d to, or harder to be well observ’d, than what I am now going to say; and that is, that Children should, from their first beginning to talk, have some discreet, sober, nay, wise Person about them, whose Care it should be to fashion them aright, and keep them from all ill, especially the Infection of bad Company. I think this Province requires great Sobriety, Temperance, Tenderness, Diligence, and Discretion; Qualities hardly to be found united in Persons that are to be had for ordinary Salaries, nor easily to be found any where. As to the Charge of it, I think it will be the Money best laid out that can be, about our Children; and therefore, though it may be expensive more than is ordinary, yet it cannot be thought dear. He that at any rate procures his Child a good Mind, well-principled, temper’d to Virtue and Usefulness, and adorn’d with Civility and good Breeding, makes a better Purchase for him than if he laid out the Money for an Addition of more Earth to his former Acres. Spare it in Toys and Play-Games, in Silk and Ribbons, Laces, and other useless Expences, as much as you please; but be not sparing in so necessary a Part as this. ’Tis not good Husbandry to make his Fortune rich, and his Mind poor. I have often with great Admiration seen People lavish it profusely in tricking up their Children in fine Clothes, lodging and feeding them sumptuously, allowing them more than enough of useless Servants, and yet at the same Time starve their Minds, and not take sufficient Care to cover that which is the most shameful Nakedness, viz. their natural wrong Inclinations and Ignorance. This I can look on as no other than a sacrificing to their own Vanity, it shewing more their Pride than true Care of the Good of their Children; whatsoever you employ to the Advantage of your Son’s Mind, will shew your true Kindness, tho’ it be to the lessening of his Estate. A wise and good Man can hardly want either the Opinion or Reality of being great and happy; but he that is foolish or vicious, can be neither great nor happy, what Estate soever you leave him: And I ask you, Whether there be not Men in the World, whom you had rather have your Son be with five hundred Pounds per Annum, than some other you know with five thousand Pounds.

§ 91. The Consideration of Charge ought not therefore to deter those who are able. The great Difficulty will be where to find a proper Person: For those of small Age, Parts, and Vertue, are unfit for this Employment, and those that have greater, will hardly be got to undertake such a Charge. You must therefore look out early, and enquire every where; for the World has People of all Sorts. And I remember, Montaigne says in one of his Essays, That the learned Castalio was fain to make Trenchers at Basle, to keep himself from starving, when his Father would have given any Money for such a Tutor for his Son, and Castalio have willingly embrac’d such an Employment upon very reasonable Terms; but this was for want of Intelligence.

§ 92. If you find it difficult to meet with such a Tutor as we desire, you are not to wonder. I only can say, spare no Care nor Cost to get such an one. All Things are to be had that Way: And I dare assure you, that if you can get a good one, you will never repent the Charge; but will always have the Satisfaction to think it the Money of all other the best laid out. But be sure take no body upon Friends, or Charity, no, nor upon great Commendations. Nay, if you will do as you ought, the Reputation of a sober Man, with a good Stock of Learning, (which is all usually requir’d in a Tutor) will not be enough to serve your Turn. In this Choice be as curious as you would be in that of a Wife for him; for you must not think of Trial or Changing afterwards: This will cause great Inconvenience to you, and greater to your Son. When I consider the Scruples and Cautions I here lay in your Way, methinks it looks as if I advis’d you to something which I would have offer’d at, but in Effect not done. But he that shall consider how much the Business of a Tutor, rightly employ’d, lies out of the Road, and how remote it is from the Thoughts of many, even of those who propose to themselves this Employment, will perhaps be of my Mind, that one fit to educate and form the Mind of a young Gentleman is not every where to be found, and that more than ordinary Care is to be taken in the Choice of him, or else you may fail of your End.

§ 93. The Character of a sober Man and a Scholar, is, as I have above observ’d, what every one expects in a Tutor. This generally is thought enough, and is all that Parents commonly look for: But when such an one has empty’d out into his Pupil all the Latin and Logick he has brought from the University, will that Furniture make him a fine Gentleman? Or can it be expected, that he should be better bred, better skill’d in the World, better principled in the Grounds and Foundations of true Virtue and Generosity, than his young Tutor is?

To form a young Gentleman as he should be, ’tis fit his Governor should himself be well-bred, understanding the Ways of Carriage and Measures of Civility in all the Variety of Persons, Times, and Places; and keep his Pupil, as much as his Age requires, constantly to the Observation of them. This is an Art not to be learnt nor taught by Books. Nothing can give it but good Company and Observation join’d together. The Taylor may make his Clothes modish, and the Dancing-master give Fashion to his Motions; yet neither of these, tho’ they set off well, make a well-bred Gentleman: No, tho’ he have Learning to boot, which, if not well manag’d, makes him more impertinent and intolerable in Conversation. Breeding is that which sets a Gloss upon all his other good Qualities, and renders them useful to him, in procuring him the Esteem and Good-will of all that he comes near. Without good Breeding his other Accomplishments make him pass but for proud, conceited, vain, or foolish.

Courage in an ill-bred Man has the Air and escapes not the Opinion of Brutality: Learning becomes Pedantry; Wit, Buffoonry; Plainness, Rusticity; good Nature, Fawning. And there cannot be a good Quality in him, which Want of Breeding will not warp and disfigure to his Disadvantage. Nay, Virtue and Parts, though they are allow’d their due Commendation, yet are not enough to procure a Man a good Reception, and make him welcome wherever he comes. No body contents himself with rough Diamonds, and wears them so, who would appear with Advantage. When they are polish’d and set, then they give a Lustre. Good Qualities are the substantial Riches of the Mind, but ’tis good Breeding sets them off: And he that will be acceptable, must give Beauty, as well as Strength, to his Actions. Solidity, or even Usefulness, is not enough: A graceful Way and Fashion in every thing, is that which gives the Ornament and Liking. And in most Cases, the Manner of doing is of more Consequence than the Thing done; and upon that depends the Satisfaction or Disgust wherewith it is receiv’d. This therefore, which lies not in the putting off the Hat, nor making of Compliments, but in a due and free Composure of Language, Looks, Motion, Posture, Place, &c. suited to Persons and Occasions, and can be learn’d only by Habit and Use, though it be above the Capacity of Children, and little ones should not be perplex’d about it, yet it ought to be begun and in a good measure learn’d by a young Gentleman whilst he is under a Tutor, before he comes into the World upon his own Legs: For then usually it is too late to hope to reform several habitual Indecencies, which lie in little Things. For the Carriage is not as it should be, till it is become natural in every Part, falling, as skilful Musicians’ Fingers do, into harmonious Order without Care and without Thought. If in Conversation a Man’s Mind be taken up with a solicitous Watchfulness about any Part of his Behaviour; instead of being mended by it, it will be constrain’d, uneasy, and ungraceful.

Besides, this Part is most necessary to be form’d by the Hands and Care of a Governor, because, though the Errors committed in Breeding are the first that are taken notice of by others, yet they are the last that any one is told of; not but that the Malice of the World is forward enough to tattle of them; but it is always out of his hearing, who should make Profit of their Judgment and reform himself by their Censure. And indeed, this is so nice a Point to be meddled with, that even those who are Friends, and wish it were mended, scarce ever dare mention it, and tell those they love that they are guilty in such or such Cases of ill Breeding. Errors in other Things may often with Civility be shewn another; and ’tis no Breach of good Manners or Friendship to set him right in other Mistakes; but good Breeding itself allows not a Man to touch upon this, or to insinuate to another that he is guilty of Want of Breeding. Such Information can come only from those who have Authority over them; and from them too it comes very hardly and harshly to a grown Man; and however soften’d, goes but ill down with any one who has liv’d ever so little in the World. Wherefore it is necessary that this Part should be the Governor’s principal Care, that an habitual Gracefulness, and Politeness in all his Carriage, may be settled in his Charge, as much as may be, before he goes out of his Hands; and that he may not need Advice in this Point when he has neither Time nor Disposition to receive it, nor has any body left to give it him. The Tutor therefore ought in the first Place to be well-bred: And a young Gentleman, who gets this one Qualification from his Governor, sets out with great Advantage, and will find that this one Accomplishment will more open his Way to him, get him more Friends, and carry him farther in the World, than all the hard Words or real Knowledge he has got from the Liberal Arts, or his Tutor’s learned Encyclopædia: Not that those should be neglected, but by no means preferr’d, or suffer’d to thrust out the other.

§ 94. Besides being well-bred, the Tutor should know the World well; the Ways, the Humours, the Follies, the Cheats, the Faults of the Age he is fallen into, and particularly of the Country he lives in. These he should be able to shew to his Pupil, as he finds him capable; teach him Skill in Men, and their Manners; pull off the Mask which their several Callings and Pretences cover them with, and make his Pupil discern what lies at the Bottom under such Appearances, that he may not, as unexperienc’d young Men are apt to do if they are unwarn’d, take one Thing for another, judge by the Outside, and give himself up to Shew, and the Insinuation of a fair Carriage, or an obliging Application. A Governor should teach his Scholar to guess at and beware of the Designs of Men he hath to do with, neither with too much Suspicion, nor too much Confidence; but as the young Man is by Nature most inclin’d to either Side, rectify him, and bend him the other Way. He should accustom him to make, as much as is possible, a true Judgment of Men by those Marks which serve best to shew what they are, and give a Prospect into their Inside, which often shews itself in little Things, especially when they are not in Parade, and upon their Guard. He should acquaint him with the true State of the World, and dispose him to think no Man better or worse, wiser or foolisher, than he really is. Thus, by safe and insensible Degrees, he will pass from a Boy to a Man; which is the most hazardous Step in all the whole Course of Life. This therefore should be carefully watch’d, and a young Man with great Diligence handed over it; and not as now usually is done, be taken from a Governor’s Conduct, and all at once thrown into the World under his own, not without manifest Dangers of immediate spoiling; there being nothing more frequent than Instances of the great Looseness, Extravagancy, and Debauchery, which young Men have run into as soon as they have been let loose from a severe and strict Education: Which I think may be chiefly imputed to their wrong Way of Breeding, especially in this Part; for having been bred up in a great Ignorance of what the World truly is, and finding it a quite other Thing, when they come into it, than what they were taught it should be, and so imagin’d it was, are easily persuaded, by other kind of Tutors, which they are sure to meet with, that the Discipline they were kept under, and the Lectures read to them, were but the Formalities of Education and the Restraints of Childhood; that the Freedom belonging to Men is to take their Swing in a full Enjoyment of what was before forbidden them. They shew the young Novice the World full of fashionable and glittering Examples of this every where, and he is presently dazzled with them. My young Master failing not to be willing to shew himself a Man, as much as any of the Sparks of his Years, lets himself loose to all the Irregularities he finds in the most debauch’d; and thus courts Credit and Manliness in the casting off the Modesty and Sobriety he has till then been kept in; and thinks it brave, at his first setting out, to signalize himself in running counter to all the Rules of Virtue which have been preach’d to him by his Tutor.

The shewing him the World as really it is, before he comes wholly into it, is one of the best Means, I think, to prevent this Mischief. He should by Degrees be informed of the Vices in Fashion, and warned of the Applications and Designs of those who will make it their Business to corrupt him. He should be told the Arts they use, and the Trains they lay; and now and then have set before him the tragical or ridiculous Examples of those who are ruining or ruin’d this Way. The Age is not like to want Instances of this kind, which should be made Land-marks to him, that by the Disgraces, Diseases, Beggary, and Shame of hopeful young Men thus brought to Ruin, he may be precaution’d, and be made see, how those join in the Contempt and Neglect of them that are undone, who, by Pretences of Friendship and Respect, lead them to it, and help to prey upon them whilst they were undoing; that he may see, before he buys it by a too dear Experience, that those who persuade him not to follow the sober Advices he has receiv’d from his Governors, and the Counsel of his own Reason, which they call being govern’d by others, do it only that they may have the Government of him themselves; and make him believe, he goes like a Man of himself, by his own Conduct, and for his own Pleasure, when in Truth he is wholly as a Child led by them into those Vices which best serve their Purposes. This is a Knowledge which, upon all Occasions, a Tutor should endeavour to instil, and by all Methods try to make him comprehend, and thoroughly relish.

I know it is often said, that to discover to a young Man the Vices of the Age is to teach them him. That, I confess, is a good deal so, according as it is done; and therefore requires a discreet Man of Parts, who knows the World, and can judge of the Temper, Inclination, and weak Side of his Pupil. This farther is to be remember’d, that it is not possible now (as perhaps formerly it was) to keep a young Gentleman from Vice by a total Ignorance of it, unless you will all his Life mew him up in a Closet, and never let him go into Company. The longer he is kept thus hoodwink’d, the less he will see when he comes abroad into open Daylight, and be the more expos’d to be a Prey to himself and others. And an old Boy, at his first Appearance, with all the Gravity of his Ivy-Bush about him, is sure to draw on him the Eyes and Chirping of the whole Town Volery; amongst which there will not be wanting some Birds of Prey, that will presently be on the Wing for him.

The only Fence against the World, is, a thorough Knowledge of it, into which a young Gentleman should be enter’d by Degrees, as he can bear it; and the earlier the better, so he be in safe and skilful Hands to guide him. The Scene should be gently open’d, and his Entrance made Step by Step, and the Dangers pointed out that attend him from the several Degrees, Tempers, Designs, and Clubs of Men. He should be prepar’d to be shock’d by some, and caress’d by others; warn’d who are like to oppose, who to mislead, who to undermine him, and who to serve him. He should be instructed how to know and distinguish them; where he should let them see, and when dissemble the Knowledge of them and their Aims and Workings. And if he be too forward to venture upon his own Strength and Skill, the Perplexity and Trouble of a Misadventure now and then, that reaches not his Innocence, his Health, or Reputation, may not be an ill Way to teach him more Caution.

This, I confess, containing one great Part of Wisdom, is not the Product of some superficial Thoughts, or much Reading; but the Effect of Experience and Observation in a Man who has liv’d in the World with his Eyes open, and convers’d with Men of all Sorts. And therefore I think it of most Value to be instill’d into a young Man upon all Occasions which offer themselves, that when he comes to launch into the Deep himself, he may not be like one at Sea without a Line, Compass or Sea-Chart; but may have some Notice before-hand of the Rocks and Shoals, the Currents and Quick-sands, and know a little how to steer, that he sink not before he get Experience. He that thinks not this of more Moment to his Son, and for which he more needs a Governor, than the Languages and learned Sciences, forgets of how much more Use it is to judge right of Men, and manage his Affairs wisely with them, than to speak Greek and Latin, or argue in Mood and Figure; or to have his Head fill’d with the abstruse Speculations of natural Philosophy and Metaphysicks; nay, than to be well vers’d in Greek and Roman Writers, though that be much better for a Gentleman than to be a good Peripatetick or Cartesian, because those antient Authors observ’d and painted Mankind well, and give the best Light into that kind of Knowledge. He that goes into the Eastern Parts of Asia, will find able and acceptable Men without any of these; but without Virtue, Knowledge of the World, and Civility, an accomplish’d and valuable Man can be found no where.

A great Part of the Learning now in Fashion in the Schools of Europe, and that goes ordinarily into the Round of Education, a Gentleman may in a good Measure be unfurnish’d with, without any great Disparagement to himself or Prejudice to his Affairs. But Prudence and good Breeding are in all the Stations and Occurrences of Life necessary; and most young Men suffer in the Want of them, and come rawer and more awkward into the World than they should, for this very Reason, because these Qualities, which are of all other the most necessary to be taught, and stand most in need of the Assistance and Help of a Teacher, are generally neglected and thought but a slight or no Part of a Tutor’s Business. Latin and Learning make all the Noise; and the main Stress is laid upon his Proficiency in Things a great Part whereof belong not to a Gentleman’s Calling; which is to have the Knowledge of a Man of Business, a Carriage suitable to his Rank, and to be eminent and useful in his Country, according to his Station. Whenever either spare Hours from that, or an Inclination to perfect himself in some Parts of Knowledge, which his Tutor did but just enter him in, set him upon any Study, the first Rudiments of it, which he learn’d before, will open the Way enough for his own Industry to carry him as far as his Fancy will prompt, or his Parts enable him to go. Or, if he thinks it may save his Time and Pains to be help’d over some Difficulties by the Hand of a Master, he may then take a Man that is perfectly well skilled in it, or chuse such an one as he thinks fittest for his Purpose. But to initiate his Pupil in any Part of Learning, as far as is necessary for a young Man in the ordinary Course of his Studies, an ordinary Skill in the Governor is enough. Nor is it requisite that he should be a thorough Scholar, or possess in Perfection all those Sciences which ’tis convenient a young Gentleman should have a Taste of in some general View, or short System. A Gentleman that would penetrate deeper must do it by his own Genius and Industry afterwards: For no body ever went far in Knowledge, or became eminent in any of the Sciences, by the Discipline and Constraint of a Master.

The great Work of a Governor, is to fashion the Carriage, and form the Mind; to settle in his Pupil good Habits and the Principles of Virtue and Wisdom; to give him by little and little a View of Mankind, and work him into a Love and Imitation of what is excellent and praise-worthy; and, in the Prosecution of it, to give him Vigour, Activity, and Industry. The Studies which he sets him upon, are but as it were the Exercises of his Faculties, and Employment of his Time, to keep him from Sauntering and Idleness, to teach him Application, and accustom him to take Pains, and to give him some little Taste of what his own Industry must perfect. For who expects, that under a Tutor a young Gentleman should be an accomplish’d Critick, Orator, or Logician? go to the Bottom of Metaphysicks, natural Philosophy, or Mathematicks? or be a Master in History or Chronology? though something of each of these is to be taught him: But it is only to open the Door, that he may look in, and as it were begin an Acquaintance, but not to dwell there: And a Governor would be much blam’d that should keep his Pupil too long, and lead him too far in most of them. But of good Breeding, Knowledge of the World, Virtue, Industry, and a Love of Reputation, he cannot have too much: And if he have these, he will not long want what he needs or desires of the other.

And since it cannot be hop’d he should have Time and Strength to learn all Things, most Pains should be taken about that which is most necessary; and that principally look’d after which will be of most and frequentest Use to him in the World.

Seneca complains of the contrary Practice in his Time; and yet the Burgursdicius’s and the Scheiblers did not swarm in those Days as they do now in these. What would he have thought if he had liv’d now, when the Tutors think it their great Business to fill the Studies and Heads of their Pupils with such Authors as these? He would have had much more Reason to say, as he does, Non vitæ sed scholæ discimus, We learn not to live, but to dispute; and our Education fits us rather for the University than the World. But ’tis no wonder if those who make the Fashion suit it to what they have, and not to what their Pupils want. The Fashion being once establish’d, who can think it strange, that in this, as well as in all other Things, it should prevail? And that the greatest Part of those, who find their Account in an easy Submission to it, should be ready to cry out, Heresy, when any one departs from it? ’Tis nevertheless Matter of Astonishment that Men of Quality and Parts should suffer themselves to be so far misled by Custom and implicit Faith. Reason, if consulted with, would advise, that their Children’s Time should be spent in acquiring what might be useful to them when they come to be Men, rather than to have their Heads stuff’d with a deal of Trash, a great Part whereof they usually never do (’tis certain they never need to) think on again as long as they live; and so much of it as does stick by them they are only the worse for. This is so well known, that I appeal to Parents themselves, who have been at Cost to have their young Heirs taught it, whether it be not ridiculous for their Sons to have any Tincture of that Sort of Learning, when they come abroad into the World? whether any Appearance of it would not lessen and disgrace them in Company? And that certainly must be an admirable Acquisition, and deserves well to make a Part in Education, which Men are asham’d of where they are most concern’d to shew their Parts and Breeding.

There is yet another Reason why Politeness of Manners, and Knowledge of the World should principally be look’d after in a Tutor; and that is, because a Man of Parts and Years may enter a Lad far enough in any of those Sciences, which he has no deep Insight into himself. Books in these will be able to furnish him, and give him Light and Precedency enough to go before a young Follower: But he will never be able to set another right in the Knowledge of the World, and above all in Breeding, who is a Novice in them himself.

This is a Knowledge he must have about him, worn into him by Use and Conversation, and a long forming himself by what he has observ’d to be practis’d and allow’d in the best Company. This, if he has it not of his own, is no where to be borrowed for the Use of his Pupil; or if he could find pertinent Treatises of it in Books that would reach all the Particulars of an English Gentleman’s Behaviour, his own ill-fashion’d Example, if he be not well-bred himself, would spoil all his Lectures; it being impossible, that any one should come forth well-fashion’d out of unpolish’d, ill-bred Company.

I say this, not that I think such a Tutor is every Day to be met with, or to be had at the ordinary Rates; but that those who are able, may not be sparing of Enquiry or Cost in what is of so great Moment; and that other Parents, whose Estates will not reach to greater Salaries, may yet remember what they should principally have an Eye to in the Choice of one to whom they would commit the Education of their Children; and what Part they should chiefly look after themselves, whilst they are under their Care, and as often as they come within their Observation; and not think that all lies in Latin and French or some dry Systems of Logick and Philosophy.